I like appreciating people around me. I frequently tell them how important they are to me. I show it in my actions too. I make sure they know that even though it’s not everything they want, at least they are loved by me. I have a wall in my room that consists of people who are dear to me and there’s only one quote written there: “Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive” These people make me happy. I look forward to spend my time with them. No, I don’t live in an ideal world. It’s not like I see or talk to them everyday. It’s not always delightful either; we fight, we cry (well, mostly I do), I shout, I curse too but at the end of the day I’d still want them in my life. I choose them because they might not know it but they have been there when I felt weak; they’ve been there to tell me things I needed to hear and have been there to hear me out. I wouldn’t have survived different stages in life if it weren’t for them. I am blessed with people who could understand me and helped me but not everyone’s that fortunate.
Wondering what you are reading, right? Me too. I can’t really justify why I’m writing this today but I know I had to. With everyone talking about mental health because what has happened last Sunday, I decided to complete this post that I was writing since first week of June. I wrote and rewrote it 100 times but I’m still not sure if it’s ready. As always, my words are not able to justify how I feel. Quoting Stephen King, “The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out.” What I wrote and what I’m about to write means a lot to me.
About 3 years back I wrote a post on World Mental Health day on my blog. Even though I wrote and published it the same day, I never actually shared it with people to read it. You can see it only if you actually visit the blog. I don’t really know why I did not flaunt it like my other posts but I’m guessing, it was because I was not ready to be judged upon by the people who claim to know me. The wounds were still fresh then and I was still healing.
However, Talking about mental health is no longer a taboo. Not that It had ever affected how I feel about it but now I see people opening up to the possibilities of unseen wounds too. We have a long way to go all and all as a society but it’s a good start. Few days ago (It was before what happened last Sunday) I saw that someone had posted a status of how they are open to help those who are going through mental illness issues and would like to encourage people to do the same. For a moment I thought about copy pasting it on my wall too. You see, I’d really like to help someone in need because someone once helped me too. I’d like to let those who are suffering know that they are not alone. However, I did not post that thing on my wall. Not because I don’t believe in the cause but because I don’t believe that everybody has the capacity to help. No, I’m not judging anyone. I’m an observer and what I observed over the time is that not everyone has the capacity to understand or process human emotions, especially when it’s of others. Just like IQ, not everybody has high EQ. Such people who are not emotionally sound, can’t help trembling thoughts. Even though they wish to help with best of what they can do, they can’t because they are not built that way; there’s nothing wrong with it but expecting and imposing them to do so is wrong. I have seen a lot of people and have heard stories of their battles. Some of them are still fighting, some have fought bravely and have overcome it and some are fighting without even realizing what it is.
What I wish, we as a society should do is to make it a point where expressing yourself is normal. Not a “now normal” with what has happened recently but normal that lasts forever. The biggest problem with our generation is that most of us live for 24 hours like our WhatsApp and Instagram stories. Being kind to anyone and everyone and not judging them would be enough on your part for those who are suffering. Most importantly, you can’t promise to be there because you don’t know what the future holds but you can be kind now, you can assure them the world is not as bad as they imagined in their darkest thoughts. You can show them hope. That’s the best you can do and should do. Making promises to someone who’s mentally ill and making them dependent on you is the worst possible cure you are suggesting.
I’m not sure you guys understood what I tried to convey but I for someone who has been on both the sides of these matters of mind, would not recommend you to make promises you cannot keep. A fragile mind in it’s darkest time, wouldn’t think of probable reason why someone who promised to be there is not there. Life isn’t easy but you can make it simple.
Love yourself. 🙂
PS: I’m no psychology expert and I maybe wrong too. This is solely my thought in the matter that is being widely discussed since past 3 days now.